Check Your Pockets

I noticed this weekend that my favorite jeans (meaning, one of my two pair of decent ones) were worn thin in a fairly 'critical' area. I was not anticipating great things from the Bronco game yesterday, so I was thinking about going and getting some new jeans instead of watching. I know, I know - like you really want to read about me buying pants. I was really tired after a long weekend that came after a long couple weeks, so I decided to sit down and watch a little of the game, see how it started out, gather my mental resolve to keep plodding, then go buy some pants.

This may all sound a little odd, but the truth is I hate buying pants. I can never find pants that fit right... All the relaxed fit, boot cut, loose fit, I-can't-believe-you're-actually-trying-to-squeeze-into-this, straight legged nonsense is irritating. If I can find them short enough, they're about 8 inches too wide in the waist. When I find a pair that fits right in the middle, they either squeeze the crap out of my legs or would require me to wear stilts. It's like jean makers decided anyone with a 31" waist is either a flag pole, a weeble wobble, or an emo kid with a white leather belt. I actually even found some pants yesterday in the kids' section that are TOO BIG.

So I always have to settle. Something between 30"x32" or 32"x30" or some such combination that's not quite right, but close enough. By this time in my life, I'm tired of settling, so the whole thing gets me a little cranky. I briefly considered going on a donuts and McDonald's diet to try to gain about 6 inches in the waist, but decided against it because it would just cause too many residual sock issues. I can't handle any more sock issues.

So anyway... As soon as I sat down to watch a little football, I realized how tired I was and decided to put the whole pants buying thing on hold. I just didn't have the energy for all that mess. Then, something amazing happened. Denver scored a touchdown in the first quarter, stopped the Chiefs, then scored another touchdown. I was so excited I put on my shoes, picked up the keys, and took LuAnn to go buy me some new pants!

The problem is the emotional spike didn't change the underlying fact that I've been running on fumes and was still way too tired. So after hitting my limit for pants hunting, we headed home. Walked into the living room... reclaimed the tv and sat down to discover the Broncos were still throttling the Chiefs... then realized, something wasn't right. Something just felt off in my left thigh, so I put my hand in my pocket and felt a little loose change and nothing else. This probably wouldn't be an issue for most people, but when I was in high school I developed a paranoia in Berlin about getting pick pocketed (or is it picked pocket???) so I started putting my wallet in my front pocket. The habit has never died.

I hate trying to dig it out of a pocket that is too small, so when I try on pants, I always put the wallet in the pocket to see how the pants do. Kind of a real world test right there in the dressing room! Normally, I find wisdom in the practice and it has saved me from many aggravating pocket fights with otherwise innocuous pants, but yesterday... I was way too tired and left my wallet in the pants that I did not buy when I hung them back out on the clearance rack at Herbergers. Oops. Thankfully, no one else showed a whole lot of interest in those particular pants (maybe I have bad taste, too) so when we got back to the store, the wallet was right there where I stupidly left it. Bonehead.

After all of that, I still didn't buy any pants. Just couldn't settle. I remember once, a nice lady in the church named Mary Jane who gave me a pair of UnionBay pants that were a little miscut. She'd bought them for her son at the outlet store, but he was too normal shaped. Those pants were perfect. I miss them. I'd give my left cheek for another pair like those... but then I guess they wouldn't fit right anymore.

I don't think there's a moral to this story...
except that maybe you should always check your pockets.
Or that maybe if you're prone to being picky about pants, you should never go to Berlin.
Or maybe you should never forget to thank God for people like Mary Jane.
Or maybe that you should always shake hands after the game, even when you get your butt kicked.

Can you think of any other lessons I should be learning here?

Becoming...

I wasn't swinging for the fence or anything in my message last night, but to say that it didn't go well would be an understatement. I was pretty disappointed. I don't know if it was the change in weather, some last second technical glitches, or the fact that I wore the same t-shirt 2 weeks in a row... but there was no focus whatsoever. I'm not sure anyone in the room really heard anything. The thing is, that even though last night's delivery was no home run, I still think this is a pretty important message. We all are becoming something. Wouldn't it be a good idea to do that on purpose?

Don't Give Up

I came across this video this morning and wanted to pass it on. It comes from NewSpring Church down in South Carolina. They've been doing a great marriage series about fighting FOR your marriage. Check out the whole series, but watch this short clip, too, of one couple's story. "No situation is hopeless. Nothing is too big for God." It's so important to remember that. He is strong enough to sustain your marriage even when you are not - not only to sustain it, but to make it thrive!


A Story: From the Ashes from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

As a youth pastor, one of the most devastating events I've seen in the lives of my students has been divorce. When mom and dad don't love Jesus enough to love each other, kids get hurt beyond understanding. I know some of my students who read this can verify the pain and confusion that their parents' separation has caused them. It's a pain and confusion through which only Jesus could rescue them. To them I want to be very clear: the end of your parents' marriage is not your fault. You are a bystander, being injured in a fight that is not your own. Keep praying for your parents. Love them like Jesus does. Do your best to continue to honor your mother and father.

I love Jason's statement near the end of the video: "Divorce is no longer an option, and Jesus is the reason for that." May this attitude be reflected in the marriage of every disciple... Don't give up.

Leaders Who Don't Know What To Do

"O our God, won't you stop them? We are powerless... We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help." (from 2 Chronicles 20:12)

A friend had this posted this morning as a status update on Facebook and it really got me thinking about leadership.  Sometimes we think leaders are the ones with all the answers, but the truth is that leaders sometimes don't know what to do, either. If we did, we'd never make a bad decision. (Which reminds me of a great sermon from Andy Stanley at Catalyst West in 2009 - here are some similar thoughts I had in a post after that conference.)

The king of Judah was one such leader at the point when he uttered those words. The neighboring nations had decided they'd had enough of the Israelites and were gathering their armies to destroy them. King Jehoshaphat knew they were in trouble. These armies were huge, they were mean, and Judah had just recently split from Israel and wasn't really a military powerhouse. In short, they were dead meat and their king knew it. At the news of his impending doom, Jehoshaphat "sought the Lord for guidance. He also gave orders that everyone throughout Judah should observe a fast. So people from all the towns of Judah came to Jerusalem to seek the Lord."

Formative Experience

"The heart will gravitate toward whatever offers adventure and significance." [from Joiner/Neiuwhof in Parenting Beyond Your Capacity: Connect Your Family to a Wider Community (The Orange Series)]

I really appreciated this book's overall approach to parenting, but this quote really stood out to me. Our primary responsibility as parents isn't just to keep our kids safe and cozy and above the influence of a cold, hard world. It's to lead our families to tell a story so great that people want to know Who wrote it. If we don't foster experiences that really matter, our kids will look for them somewhere else.

These experiences of "adventure and significance" help to form a faith that is deep enough to share. They lead kids to the realization that God can accomplish something meaningful through them. They lead them to tell the compelling story of God's restorative, redemptive work in them and in the world.

I'm curious, as a father and a youth minister... I'm always trying to create experiences that are formative for the faith of the young people I'm with (those who are 'mine' and those who are not). What experiences have been most formative for your faith? Are there ways we could work together to craft some similar experiences for another generation?

Adventures in Leaping Before I Look

What do you get when you cross an entomologist, 3 high school guys, and a youth minister? There's no punchline, because this just isn't funny!

I don't really know what I'm doing at all, but does this look like progress to you? Anyone can roof a house, right? Right...? Oh well, I'm figuring things out as I go here. That's just how I roll.

Friday, the city dropped off a huge roll-off container for the debris, and I started stripping off shingles from the shed, workshop, garage, and patio - with the help of some really good people. We discovered some rotted wood on the patio roof, so that slowed things down a bit, but so far, that's been the only big surprise. I'll have to get some new decking to put up there.  Decking is roofing code...

Building Momentum...

Momentum is a tricky thing... If you've got it going your direction, you're golden. But if for some reason, it's not rolling your way - watch out. I've been thinking a lot about momentum in relationship to student ministry lately. Our students are at a point in life where they're gathering momentum in one way or another. The trajectory of their lives is being influenced by the momentum they're gaining today.

Know God and Make Him Known

It was really cool this morning to see my 8 year old taking his Bible to school. He's not trying to make a statement or stake a claim to some 'right' he perceives himself to have. He just wants to read it. He's liking what he's reading.

Too many times, we in the church become so concerned with staking out our territory in the public sqaure that we lose focus on what's really important. We need to know God and make Him known.

Somebody Turn On The Lights!

It's Homecoming week here in Scottsbluff, so that means several things. Parade... Theme Days at school... The big football game... and the Homecoming Dance...

In light of that timing, I found an interesting article from Jonathan McKee, a youth ministry leader/speaker who was invited to chaperon a recent high school dance. If you're a parent of a high school student, you need to go read the article. This is not coming from someone who wants to make kids miserable or vilify them in their pubescent impropriety, but from a dad who has given his life to helping the next generation. He's worked with teens for years and was caught a little off guard by what he saw.

He asks, "How stupid are we?"

What's a Good Parent?

I've been reading Reggie Joiner's Parenting Beyond Your Capacity and came across a description of some Biblical parenting models:

"Noah had a drinking problem. Abraham offered his wife to another man. Rebekah schemed with her son to deceive her husband, Isaac. Jacob's sons sold their brother into slavery. David had an affair, and his son started a rebellion. Eli lost total control of how his boys acted in church."

He also mentions Joseph & Mary's 3 day desertion of their son and Adam and Eve's raising one son who killed his own brother.

Not what you expected at the words 'Biblical parenting models'?

Renovating Reality (pt. 2)

In part 1, I wrote about not liking to work my butt off for only small changes - I'd rather pour myself out in an effort at wholesale renovation. I definitely lean to the wholesale change side of the chalkline.

I'm realizing how that can cause some tension with people who have to work on the same team with me. What if they like to put that last little bit of polish on a project? What if they really value the minor detail that I completely ignore? What if their comfort comes from the familiar piece of life that I'm suggesting we blow up to start fresh?

A recent examples come to mind:

Renovating Reality (pt. 1)

I spent much of yesterday afternoon on a ladder, painting window trim on our house. By painting, I actually mean priming, since we only got the primer done and still have the finishing coat of actual paint left to do. It was not the most pleasant way to spend an afternoon off, but it needed done. I really don't like painting trim, but I realized something about myself as I was perched on that step that says "do not sit or stand" here...

Besides having good enough balance to sit where it says don't sit (and not enough sense to follow the directions of the ladder makers), I realized that I don't like to put a whole lot of effort into incremental change.

Writing Better Stories

I'm stealing some statements from my friend Tory's blog. These are statements from a training video he's used in working on the San Carlos Apache Reservation.  Tory is working through an organization called 3:18 Ministries to bring hope where there is little hope.  These statements are the statements of a generation without hope. This is how so many of the young people in San Carlos view life:

  1. There is no future.

  2. I think I can't.

Why I Love Compassion

We Teach Children How to Dream (check out this post on Compassion's blog)

Poverty isn't just a lack of resources... it's a lack of hope. I love how this article looks into a few examples of what Compassion is doing to bring hope to the hopeless. LuAnn and I have sponsored kids through Compassion almost from the very beginning of our marriage, and this is why. I know there are a lot of other child sponsorship organizations that do a lot of good things, but we've never been disappointed in our first choice. Look into it.

Help a Child

Great Mentoring Picture...

The Mentoring Project - Elephant Musth Cycle from The Mentoring Project on Vimeo.

Fatherless Generation

One of the toughest issues I've dealt with in my years in youth ministry is the absence of fathers for so many of my students. I grew up with my mom and dad and big hairy case of being sheltered, so I remember being pretty floored within my first few months on staff at a great small town church, when I was confronted with the fact that so many of the students I was working with didn't know their dads. Unfortunately, what was foreign to me then has become a theme today. The particular struggles that are associated with growing up without Dad around have become all too familiar.

When I heard about The Mentoring Project several months ago, I was immediately excited about what they're doing.