A Quick Thanks

I want to thank those of you who had been praying for our elders and pastors last weekend.  We started out the weekend with a video from Dean Trune of Impact Ministries. It was a great reminder of our need to be in prayer. We need to consistently beg God for His direction for our lives and ministries.

We had some really good, healthy discussion about the way we get things done, and how we can improve on that. It will be exciting to see God work as we implement some ideas to help WestWay be everything God is calling us to be.

A Simple Request with Huge Implications

I don't often ask for much on this blog - a little conversation, feedback, a free exchange of ideas... but today I'm going to ask. Because I need something. The ministry I lead needs something. The church in which I serve needs something.

Tomorrow and Saturday, our team of elders and pastors will be getting out of town for a little bit for a leadership retreat. To be totally honest, I don't know exactly what's on the agenda for the time we'll be spending together, but I do know that this trip is coming at a pivotal time for us. And that's where you come in...

I'm asking that on Friday night and Saturday, you'd be praying for these needs of our leadership team:
We need to hear from God and together be drawn deeper into His mission for WestWay.
We need to humbly accept what He calls us into and boldly move forward into whatever that may be.
We need to listen well, both to the Spirit and to each other.
We need to communicate clearly within the group and avoid being misled by assumptions.
We need to follow up when we return, diligently doing what we commit to and faithfully caring for the community in which we've been planted.

If you're a part of WestWay, I hope you already pray for your leaders, but especially this weekend, please be praying for us. Thanks.

(If any of you who will be on the trip have anything specific you'd like people to be praying about, feel free to click on 'comments' under this post to detail your request.)

Audio - Believe a Better Story

This is a pretty low quality mp3 file, so if it's indistinguishable, it may not be here long.  We'll see how this goes.
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EDIT: I can't figure out how to get the embedded file to NOT automatically begin upon page load, so I'm replacing it with this link to the mp3 to avoid annoying everyone who visits my page for the next several months until this post is off the front page. Sorry for the extra click my coding ineptitude will cause you, but at least you won't have to hear me stutter through the opening lines every time you come here to read a new post...

Message Delivered: "Believe a Better Story"

This isn't a transcript, but this is the message from yesterday. I'll try to post some audio if anyone would like it, but for those who can't stand the sound of my voice... read this in whatever voice you'd prefer.
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I was struck last week by the number of runners in the half-marathon who, most people would assume would not be running. There was one finisher who was 73 years old - and she finished about a half an hour before I did! Not that I'm the swiftest distance runner out there, but she's 73! I think the biggest thing that keeps people from running a long distance is that they believe a story in which they can't run a long distance. As Donald Miller suggests, we become the character in the story we believe about ourselves.

We believe a lot of bad stories. Unloved and unwanted... Too fat, too short... Not smart enough, not fast enough, not talented enough... Too old, too young... We need to believe a better story. I don't mean some kind of self-help, believe and achieve type of thing: I mean that we need to believe God's story and overcome every obstacle in the way of living His story.

I had a student who walked into our youth ministry one night and sat down in the back row, bringing in a 'cloud' that changed the atmosphere of the whole room. I had no idea who she was or why she'd come - she didn't really seem connected with any of the other students, and every time I tried to get to talk with her she was out the door by the time I got to the back of the room. As it turned out, she was believing a story that started with an abusive father leaving the family. In her story, she was rejected, unloved, and worthless. One of my greatest joys in youth ministry was watching God reveal a better story to this girl - His girl. In God's story, she found out, she is invaluable!

Some bad stories we sometimes believe:
"I don't have what it takes."
"No one cares, but if I sleep with him, he will."
"I'm too old, I can't relate to those young people anymore."
"I'm retired - I already did my work"

If you find yourself buying into these stories, you need to believe a better story. Simon was a guy who was invited into a better story. Early in the gospel of Matthew, Simon was just a fisherman. Passed up by the Rabbis, Simon took on the family trade and spent his days throwing nets into the sea and smelling like fish... until the son of a carpenter invited him into a better story. Simon took Jesus' invitation and lived a better story. He saw the miracles of Jesus, the healings, heard the teaching first-hand, and saw the love in Jesus' eyes up close. He even walked on water! Peter lived a better story.

In Mt. 16, the story got even better. "Who do you say I am?" "You are the Messiah, the son of the living God." In this moment, Jesus opens a new chapter in His story for Simon. He gave Simon a new name, and invited him into the story of His unstoppable church. The church that even the gates of hell would not overcome. We, the church today, need to believe a better story. Just like individuals, sometimes churches settle for less:

"We're just a small family in a small town... can't expect too much from that."
"We have to keep youth ministry separate from adults and leave it to 'the experts'"
"The Pastor's in charge."
"We're big enough."
"Other churches in town are our competition."
"We've been hurt too badly to fully recover."
"Our best days are in the past."

Back in the late 80's and early 90's, there was a church that believed a better story. All they wanted was to reach people for Christ and no obstacle was too big to tackle. They weren't afraid to try things that other churches wouldn't try for fear of abandoning convention. The result of this was that the people of the church were excited about sharing Jesus with other people. They loved to bring their friends and neighbors... even the kids loved being a part of what was going on in this church. It was an exciting time. But as more friends came, and more neighbors came, another obstacle came up - a big one. It was an obstacle that had stopped many churches in their tracks: the building was hindering ministry to the community.

The church had pulled together to show Jesus to the community, and it was working. They'd stretched resources and rearranged service schedules to accommodate more people, but the facilities were simply maxed out. So in 1994, the church removed that obstacle with the purchase and renovation of an old lumber yard and a relocation. They continued to grow, and in 2004 a new auditorium was built that would facilitate their continued efforts to reach the community.

That room is the room in which we meet every week. That church was the Church at Bryant, which was given the name WestWay when they relocated. That's our story. But I'm afraid we've lost a little of the clarity to the story. Our vision can get a little fuzzy due to a creeping internal focus that leaves us dissatisfied when things don't go our way. People have left the church for unshared reasons, and some of those reasons remain unshared because they don't feel like anyone's listening anyway. We need to believe a better story. Don't believe that your leaders don't care. Don't believe that none of us are listening. Don't believe that this church belongs to anyone other than Jesus Christ.

In the book of Acts, we find the early Christians believing a better story. The Spirit of God was on a mission to establish the church, and despite all odds and obstacles, the church thrived. Through the last several chapters of Acts, we see a man joining that same mission. Paul was not going to be stopped. He had bought into the story of Jesus with every fiber of his being and was going to deliver the message of God's Kingdom in every place in which he could step foot! He was accosted, arrested, imprisoned... Paul was challenged and beaten and left for dead... Snake-bit, shipwrecked and shackled... and yet, he proclaimed God's Kingdom still.

The final words of the book of Acts tell us that Paul was telling everyone of the Kingdom "with all boldness and without hindrance." No obstacle would hinder him from living a better story.
That is the unstoppable mission in which we have a place.
That is the Kingdom we proclaim.
That is the story we need to believe.

God is not finished with His church. Though obstacles have arisen - and many more will...
Be a people who believe a better story: His story about His unstoppable church.

Believe a Better Story

As I've been preparing to speak Sunday at WestWay, I'm finding a problem. I want to move people to believe a better story (His story) about their lives, but I often find myself believing the wrong story, too. In the story that seems to be my default, I am a small, shrinking voice - easy to ignore, easy to brush by, easy to forget. Though I may have something important to say, in my story, no one listens. The moment I finish speaking, my words tumble through the sandy hills and deserts, unheard. In my story, I'm out on a limb alone, wondering if I should be there, but with no real mentors to have helped me decide upon which branch to climb.

What a stupid story!

When I believe that, I fail to believe His story as it's been played out in my life's history. I fail to believe He really loves me, not for whatever performance I may be turning in, but because I am His image bearing creation. When I choose my story over His, I forget that He has chosen me to be adopted into His family, and gifted me with something to share with that family. I short-change the men and women and friends and students and starry nights and books through which He's called to me and led me.

In His story, I am loved beyond all rationality.  In His story, I have been gifted and equipped to strengthen the Body of Christ. In His story, He's worked through me to draw lives into His Life and to help churches proceed with His mission. It's really a much more compelling story! I'm so thankful to God for the roles He's allowed me to live in His story, and grateful for the way He's using this time in my life to remind me that He's still writing!

Holy Mothers Day, Church!

For about the last year, I've been following NewSpring Church's services online. There is a lot that I like, and I've been pretty strongly challenged through their ministry. I started this week's service at my desk this afternoon, hoping to work on a couple other things while I watched - but I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be getting a whole lot done. I think they've got a great answer to the question "What if we loved like Jesus loved @ church?" I know they're a "big church" with lots of resources that we don't have, but the Holy Spirit is the same in South Carolina as he is everywhere else. How will we answer that question in our communities?

(If you want to jump to the message, it begins about the 14th minute.)

Resources from Catalyst West

For the last several weeks, my desk has been piled with stuff I brought back from Catalyst West. Some of the stuff was purchased, some were free books that I seem to never be able to pass up (why would anyone want to?!), and some other promo materials from vendors that were set up at the conference. Just thought I'd pass on some links to some of the resources, connections, causes, and ministries I brought back:

Clover - Fashioners of great websites for growing ministries.
TOMS Shoes - A shoe company that gives a pair of shoes away to someone in need for every pair they sell!
Invisible Children - A movement working in northern Uganda to rebuild life for child soldiers, who've been abducted and forced into the longest running military conflict in Africa.
Orange - Proponents of a strategy that fuses children's and youth ministry with the rest of the Body - ministry to families starts at home.
Orphan Sunday - Nov. 7, 2010 Echoing God's heart for the fatherless.
One Day's Wages - A giving movement intent on alleviating extreme poverty by donating a day's wage. These guys have done a great job leveraging social media to work on their mission.
Gift Card Giver - Distributing unused and leftover gift cards to people in need.
ISS - Stewardship solutions to resource God's vision for the local church.
The Last Letter - Committed to taking up the cross among the poor and lost - a passionate call to action for all of us.
Bethany Christian Services - Orphan care, adoption, and counseling through unplanned pregnancies.
X3Watch - Accountability Software/Tools for fighting internet porn.

Many of these deserve a lot more attention than one post could give all of them, so check the links and see what you find. Then come back and comment and let me know which ones are most exciting for you.

Humility of a Half-Marathoner

The 13.1 mile journey started last fall.  Some friends were talking about running in the Colorado Marathon right about the same time I was getting back into running.  (After the Lincoln Marathon several years ago, my running shoes got relegated to lawn mowing duty.) I got to looking at the details of the race, and everything seemed to be aligned for me to join my friends in their high altitude run.  Let me translate that: I looked at the course map and saw a marathon that is ALL downhill!

My friends were planning to run the half-marathon. I'm sort of an 'all or nothing' guy (at least when I vainly think I can handle "all") so I wasn't all that excited about the idea of running HALF of something. Today, on the day after that HALF something, I am very grateful to Jon, Michele, Scott, & Jennifer for reminding me of the difficulties of training for the full in the wind of a West NE winter. I can honestly say, I wouldn't have made it 26.2. Lesson in humility #1: Listen to your friends!

I've never been a very scheduled runner. I squeeze in what I can, when I can. Marking days with prompts like "tempo run," "speed work," and "long one" makes me feel like I'm running out of obligation instead of because I want to, so I generally just start running. If I don't have much time, I run fast - if I feel good and have some open time that day, I keep running. The problem with this training approach (or lack of one) is that it's more than a little haphazard toward actually accomplishing what a training regimen is supposed to accomplish: increase the capacity to run long distances efficiently. Going in to yesterday's run, my "longest" long run in the last 5 years was 7 miles. It's probably not a coincidence that my body started breaking down with about 6 miles to go! Do the math. Lesson in humility #2: Don't expect to perform like you've trained if you didn't.


The day before the run, my heart was not in it. I didn't want to leave, had a headache, just not in the mood... I don't know. But I had committed (and paid) to run, so I gathered my gear and headed to Ft. Collins. The room I'd reserved had somehow turned into a smoking room, but nothing else was available. I opened the windows and left the fans running, so it wasn't too bad (but did little to improve my outlook). I puttered around town a little bit, met up with Jon and Michele to retrieve my race packet, then headed back to the hotel to get some sleep (ha!). As I began to go through the packet with the reminders and race day details (not to mention the race tech shirt) the "clouds" began to lift, and I started to get a little more excited about what the morning would bring (aside from a 4:00 wake up call). The morning came quickly, we all met up downtown and rode the bus up into the Cache la Poudre canyon, where we'd start - after standing around in the cold for about an hour. It was a beautiful morning in the canyon (we Scottsbluff runners were particularly impressed by the absence of insane amounts of wind!) and, though it was cold, it warmed up quickly as soon as the mass of humanity began the run. The course was great - "standing in the canyon, painted hills around, the wind against my skin." Running through awe inspiring scenes, I couldn't help but think about how awesome our Creator really is. And aside from a few hundred meters, it really was downhill all the way! Lesson in humility #3: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wait for it - the fog will lift!

Despite my lack of adequate training (or nutrition, but that's a whole other issue), and the consequent knee pain for the last 5 miles or so, I finished in 2:18:59 still in sight of Jon, with whom I gladly ran most of the race (881st out of 1446 finishers). Maybe next year, we can work on a finish in the top half like Michele!

The Messiah you are looking for is Jesus.

In Acts 18, both Paul and Apollos are said to be working to convince Jewish congregations that "Jesus was the Christ." Now, I've had enough Sunday School lessons and Life of Christ lectures in Bible college to know that "the Christ" is a pretty significant title, and it's the Greek equivalent of the Hebrew term Messiah. And so, as I grew up reading this verse in the NIV (as many of my generation of church goers have), I always pictured these two guys reasoning and explaining to the Jews that Jesus was the Messiah they'd been waiting for.

This morning, as I was reading in the New Living Translation, the phrase jumped out at me both times I came across it in a fresh way: "The Messiah you are looking for is Jesus." For whatever reason, having it phrased this way made my mind jump a couple thousand years. People are still looking for a Messiah and they have lots of choices fighting for their attention. Most are not looking for the Jewish Messiah described in the Old Testament (even many Jews have given up that wait) - but they are looking for someone or something to deliver them from a life void of meaning and substance. People are trying just about everything possible to escape the aging and death that each of us experiences. We all want our lives to mean something.

But your job will not be a source of significance for you beyond a few decades.
The excessive drinking and drugs that offer an escape only last for a moment.
The accolades and achievements we so diligently pursue will not satisfy forever.
Even the humanitarian service we give to others, as good and right as it is, does little to permanently convince the soul that it is good and right.

None of these offer the true rescue we're seeking. Because "the Messiah you are looking for is Jesus."
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The young generation today is looking for meaning in so many other things. They are looking to be saved by sex and good grades and football letters... drama and debate and Halo... drinking and cars and hip-hop... but they're recognizing the emptiness of these pursuits. And so, they keep looking - they keep trying the next thing. The Messiah they are looking for is Jesus. It really is as simple as that.

Help them see Him.

Sparks Fly!

Last night with our small group, we shared some of the ideas that are being birthed in our group regarding moving forward after last week's experience at Catalyst West. These aren't fully formed yet and some may take a while to become functional ideas, but here's a quick list of what may be...

-Writer's Group - Many students believe the wrong story about who they are. This could be a way to help some of them understand the meaning of their story and more effectively share those stories. When I started talking about this as a thing for high school students, the group quickly pointed out it could be a great thing community wide for adults as well. So true!

-Mission Trip to Arizona - Hi Tory! What could we do at Christmas?

-Pastor's Wives Group - What can we do to connect the wives of local pastors? Pastor's wives are incredible (especially that WestWay youth minister's wife!); what awesome things could God be doing in our area if this group could be drawn together for support and inspiration?! Hosting ladies for Lori Wilhite's web conference later this year can be a good starting point.

-Housing - We'd like to help with the local Habitat for Humanity again, and also interested in the possibility of working with something like Casas por Cristo in Mexico.

-Foster Care/Adoption - How many kids are in foster care in our community? What agencies handle foster care? How can we help them - not only housing kids, but offering respite for foster parents... "Does God want our family to adopt a child?" Don't forget to ask that question.

-Denver Rescue Mission - What could we be doing to help there (the largest city close to us)?

-People of the Second Chance - What are we doing to offer grace, hope, and help to people needing to be restored to wholeness? Recovery Groups/Redemption Groups

-Lots of us Blog and others are considering it - How can we leverage our blogs to best serve the kingdom and help people in our community see God at work around them, especially those who haven't noticed Him before? Maybe a Scottsbluff area aggregate blog or something similar? Tie-in with a new church website?

-Hospitality for visitors - Lots of little touches could be done in our facilities to help people feel more at ease/at home when they come to our building. i.e. shelves in restrooms, less empty wall space, signs within the building to help people find their way, signs in town to compensate for unfortunate building location (outside of most of the community's flow) - but also remembering a sign or wall hanging will never take the place of the personal care we provide as individuals who collectively are the church.
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Those are some of the ideas that were sparked by last week's conference. We're still kicking them around and obviously we can't tackle them all at once. But God is at work in our hearts and stirring some incredible thought. If you're a part of WestWay and have some thoughts about how these ideas can be fleshed out, give me a call or comment below and let's see which of these sparks we can "fan into flame" together!

Let the Wind Bring You Home

I decided to ride my bike back to work this afternoon after lunch. As soon as I turned West, I realized why that was not a great call! I had to fight a really crazy wind, which was blowing in direct opposition to my intended course, the entire ride. I'm not all that into biking, so my biking muscles were very angry. Sort of like the kid on the playground who tried to get on the merry go round going the wrong way, only I get to keep all my teeth!

I decided to detour a couple blocks just to get a respite from the headwind, and my mind wandered to Abby Sunderland. She's the girl I wrote about a few weeks ago sailing around the world by herself. When you're in a sailboat in the middle of the ocean, and the wind is not blowing the direction you want to travel... what do you do? Abby used the term 'northing' to describe the process of going east by heading north. I've never sailed, but as I understand it, there's some waiting involved, manipulating sails to go in a perpendicular direction (north in this case), then cutting back diagonally (southeast) to where you wanted to be in the first place - constantly adjusting to get where you were headed. 

This made me think of last week driving around the Los Angeles area for Catalyst West. If I missed an exit or turn I needed to make, I had to adjust course quickly. Being familiar with the map and recognizing a few landmarks from the previous few days I'd been in the area was critical to being sure we got to where we wanted to go.

And all this thinking, and pedaling, and sweating, and wind (I can't be in wind without thinking of the Holy Spirit), and course adjusting brought to mind a question: What if where I want to go in life, isn't the way God wants me to go? I can adjust my course to get where I want to be anyway, essentially ignoring God. But choosing this course of action requires me to constantly fight against the wind of the Spirit, and that doesn't sound like the kind of life I'd enjoy. I'd rather throw up my sail and let the Wind blow fast and furious, taking me where He wants. Len Sweet uses the term 'pneumenaut' to describe someone navigating through life by God's Spirit. We may not always know where He'll take us, but that's part of the excitement. We'll be blown through restful islands and busy cities... deserts and mountains and forests... shuttled through life and death, but always knowing that He's there, moving us, lifting the waves and drawing the tides and currents to bring us home!

I meet a lot of people who are recognizing their brokenness. Life just isn't what they'd hoped for. I wonder, how often, that's the result of choosing to constantly fight the Wind. Even when they get what they wanted, they find it empty and not worth the fight, so they move on to the next thing. Maintaining the illusion of control, many people bounce from one unfulfilling moment to the next. 

May we in the church help them see how to tune their sails to His Wind in order to find their way home.

Still Distilling

I still haven't had time to decompress after returning from Catalyst West, and may not for some time, so I wanted to jot out a couple things here, though they're not fully processed. I read somewhere that a distillation is the process of separating components of a mixture from each other by tapping into their varying levels of volatility in a boiling liquid. As we distill the post-Catalyst brew... try not to blow anything up (unless it needs blown up)!

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Inexplicable Love + Message of the Power of the Resurrection = An Unimaginable Tomorrow!  We are stewards of the same resurrection message that caused the church to EXPLODE in the first century and alter the course of history.  When we wield that power in love beyond measure, ANYTHING is possible for tomorrow!  What tomorrow are you working to create?

Grace is not just a one time gift that allows us to “get saved” – it is the power we need to live every day. If we limit our view of grace to only our salvation, we’ll doom ourselves to an anemic spirituality because we DO NOT have the power to do what God calls us to do until He unleashes His power in us.  The ministry He calls you to will force you to beg Him for help.  What obstacles are you facing that God is wanting to help you with today?

People become the character in the story that they believe.  If you believe you are a broken down old hag with nothing to live for… you’ll live a pretty bitter life.  If you believe no one loves you… you’ll live as if no one does, even rejecting the love that is given to you.  But if you believe you are a child of God, with a role to play in His narrative… That changes everything.  Who you are will be shaped by what story you believe is real.  What story are you believing?

The Church is His and it is UNSTOPPABLE!  The very same tools that were available to the first believers are in our toolbox: the teaching of Jesus, the Resurrection Message, and the Power of the Holy Spirit.  The early church rocked the planet with these three tools.  What will we do with them?

There is so much more to share, but I just can't right now. I have two worship services to plan and a message to write for my students. Throw in Kota's first baseball practice, a soccer practice, and a weekend full with an area youth event in Central and I just... well, I sound like I'm whining now, so I'll stop. I still have to sift through the tremendous amount of thoughts that were shared and captured at Catalyst.  The ideas need to continue to percolate and become a brew that will strengthen the youth ministry and the body here at WestWay.  But don’t just drink my Kool-aid – Join the conversation: Comment here and check out some other thoughts from our group at these links:

One of the Remnant

Carissa's Little Corner of the World

Reflexion

(more to come)

How's My Driving?

This morning started with a drive down from Orange to Irvine for Catalyst West Coast Labs. The drive went alright, but we were close enough to the local morning drive time that there was a lot of traffic crawling. I don't know if I should really call it traffic, though because that image insinuates that something is actually moving. In the church van, every motion is exaggerated, so start/stop - one bumper to the next isn't all that great. No incidences, but I did make an observation: I've never met someone with a cleaner driving record who takes more crap about how he drives than I do. File that under 'Perils of Being the Youth Minister'.

Anyway, upon safe arrival at Mariners, we all checked in and started the labs. First up for me was Susan Isaacs' lab regarding the value of writing your spiritual autobiography. I'll be bringing her book home. One of the most meaningful writing assignments I've ever had was a few years ago, when I had to do a brief spiritual autobiography for a spiritual formation class. One question from the lab that really sparked my synapses was: 

What is the story that I can no longer NOT tell?

It reminded me of the fire in Jeremiah's bones that he could not keep in anymore. We have to deliver the message God gives us to deliver.

Dan Kimball's lab was also good, talking about exchanging religion for the mission of God. I always appreciate the gentle heart from which Kimball speaks. He had some great stuff that the church needs to be teaching. (It sounded like more of it will be explained in whatever his next book will be.)


Scott Belsky's lab about Making Ideas Happen was pretty thought provoking, too. I am full of ideas, but I've become disordered to the point where most of them gain no traction and fizzle out. The class stirred some thoughts about how that's happened and what I need to do about it. I'm an easy going person by design and I don't see that changing, but somehow that laid-back approach to life has combined with a deficiency of hope and the resulting apathy  to at least make me appear unorganized. That needs to change.


As I was driving to lunch today, I missed the exit & consequently the entry into the parking lot we needed to get into. It wasn't a big deal; we easily took the next exit, got back on the freeway, re-exited and hit the lot from the other direction. It was similar to the airport yesterday, when I navigated a different route because I misjudged the intended exit. I realized: I will probably miss some turns in life, but I'm good at improvising a new plan and still getting where I needed to go. There are lots of ways to get from one point to another - as long as we remember where we're headed to begin with.
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I'm operating on about 6 hours of sleep since Monday morning, so these threads are not yet fully woven together. So... feel free to pick a little, but please don't pull them too hard or my whole sweater may unravel, which would be very unfortunate because this is not the typical OC sunshine week - I need that sweater.  Good night.

Lovin' the Consistency

I hope this isn't hitting the peak too early, but my adrenaline is going crazy today. Several last minute things to do before leaving with an awesome group to go to Catalyst has me running around a little bit! I'm feeling like I'm just about to step onto the pitch for a big game or something... One of the things to do (that I really didn't need to do yet) was to go pick up new registration tags for my 4runner.

So I drove ALL the way across the river to Gering - which as anyone local knows is an arduous task in itself. (Seriously, it took almost 10 minutes to drive all the way over there.) I got to the line at the DMV/county clerk to find big, bold announcements that they no longer have insurance information on file, so I would need the insurance card for the truck. I'd driven the van (meaning I didn't have the 4runner card with me, I had the caravan card).

Before she even asked, I explained to the nice lady behind the desk that the information is the same (same policy, same coverage, etc.) but she apologetically informed me that I needed the one for the vehicle that was being renewed. (I think she even teared up a little.) Not a big deal, I'm just killing time until leaving tonight for L.A. so I drove WAY back over to Scottsbluff to pick up the truck's insurance card, then turned around and drove ALL the way back across the river and railroad tracks.

I waited in line with the proper piece of paper proudly clutched in my right hand (even checked to make sure I didn't grab the outdated one that I should have thrown away 6 months ago!). I made it up to the desk where another very nice lady offered to assist me - I dutifully showed her the registration renewal card, handed her the check, she gave me the new registration and stickers... never even mentioned the insurance!


Gotta love consistency!

I wonder... what if I'd kept my mouth shut the first time!?

...And there is Grace

I don't want to leave this recent discussion about adolescents having sex without touching another concept: grace. Sometimes we act like having sex before marriage is unforgivable - like once a kid's had sex, they're just utterly hopeless and doomed to a life of decadence and brokenness. This mentality can quickly become a powerful vortex, sucking away the will to work toward anything better. "They all think I'm a slut now anyway, so I might as well..."

But the truth is that many people have had sex before marriage and gone on to live productive, healthy lives (not scar free, however). They often paid a heavy price and would undo what they did if they could, but they've survived because of grace. Both the grace offered to them by God, and that of friends and family who came together to support them as they sought to do better.

It's definitely better for teens to not have sex, but sometimes I'm afraid we do little to help the situation with our scarlet letters and pointing fingers. If you're a teen who's had sex and realized it was a mistake, even though you can't undo it; you don't have to wallow in it and keep making the same mistake. You can move on and live differently. If you know a teen who's having sex, find out why. What is it that they're seeking to find in sex? Then show them a better way. Help them find the real fulfillment they're looking for. (Yes, I'm making an assumption there - that they are in it for more than cheap thrills.) Help them find hope for the authentic fullness in life that they won't find in sex.
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Like I said in the last post, this is all coming from my limited point of view. I did have sex as a teen for about a year and a half, but only after I married at 18. The pressures we faced may be very different from the ones students face today. I may be way off base and value your input. How can we help students pick up the pieces?

Why are teens having sex?

Here are some quick thoughts that come to mind about teens having sex:

> It feels good. Let's be honest - good sex feels really good. God designed us in a way that makes sex possible, and he created the hormones and nerve receptors that make sex pleasurable. Teens have hit the stage in life when this reality becomes obvious to them, and sometimes their curiosity overcomes their caution.

> Sense of maturity. Sex is an adult activity. It's possible that teens get the feeling that having sex somehow means they're more adult, more grown up. With so few clear 'rites of passage' from childhood to adulthood, maybe teens have co-opted sex as a mile marker...

> For guys, this may be giving in to the pressure to 'be a man'. Locker room logic may be telling them "You're not really a man until you've had sex." I know a number of boys who've traveled through adolescence with a sense that being a virgin somehow made them less of a man. I wonder if our society has lost the sense of what it really means to be a man, so teens try sex, thinking that's a part of it.

> Girls may feel a similar pressure, but I've seen it often directed at keeping a boyfriend. There's an underlying assumption that all boys want to have sex NOW and if a girl won't give him what he wants, he'll just move on to another relationship. But the assumption is wrong. Even if the boy does want to have sex, doing so is not some kind of relational glue that will keep him around. In fact, many girls find themselves more shattered than ever when he moves on anyway, despite their giving in to his persuading.

> I wonder though, if it's an unmet need for real relationships that lies behind the current of teen sex. People hope that sex will produce the sense of intimacy they are really longing for. With so few authentic relationships (ones where they don't have to wear a mask) teens may use sex as a substitute.

> I'm not sure the problem of teen sex is really a teen problem. Students have been given poor examples to live up to and have sunk to level of low expectations placed on them. When teens, trying to find the way to a meaningful adult life, open up to any media channel and find Big Ben and Tiger and Lindsay and Gaga doing whatever they want with whomever they want... When teens bounce from house to house in shattered families that may now have a revolving door for mom or dad's latest fling... How are they supposed to make better choices? We (the adults) have to give adolescents a better example to follow.
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Again, these are simply my thoughts and conjecture - not thoroughly processed or neatly packaged. Feel free to share yours below, whether you agree or disagree. But more than that, think about the teens you have contact with. If you're an adult, when was the last time you had a real conversation with a teen? When was the last time a teen really felt like they were important to you? Today's young generation is already changing the world we live in and will continue to do so for some time. What are you doing to help them shape the future in a positive way?