Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Frozen Walk with an Affirming Father

I need affirmation. Maybe I'm not internally motivated enough, maybe my confidence is not what it should be, but I need to hear how I'm doing from someone else's perspective. I settle sometimes for other people's perceptions, but what I really need is the affirmation of my Father. You do, too. There is a question in all of us that begs to be answered with God's "Well done. Come enter into my rest."

Last night after all the students had gone home, all the lights were shut off and the doors were locked, I headed home feeling as good as I've felt for a long time. The question we covered in our series last night dealt with the mystery of the Trinity - how can God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit be three and be one? The simple truth is I don't know how, but the question brought me to wonder again. If we stop wondering about God, we may begin to think we know all we need to know about Him - and that's a dangerous place to be.

God knows us more intimately than we can fathom, and He wants us to know Him more deeply as well. He is not merely a far-off overlord watching from a distance - He became one of us! He is not just an amazing teacher or caring humanitarian that used to live in the Middle East - He is THE creative power living inside of us!

I went for a walk late last night after I got home. Just a short walk - it was well below zero (about 20 below Celsius for my Canadian friends). Being that cold, there weren't too many dogs out barking, only a few vehicles passing by, and the more sane of our local species tucked away in their warm homes. It was incredibly still - a moment of rest. If anyone noticed me out there, they may have only seen some dope out wandering around in the cold, but I saw more. Fascinated by the God who made the cold, dry snow crunch beneath every step, who made every star I could see and every one I couldn't, and who drew out the longest-burning meteorite I've ever seen... I saw God.

It was as if He spread out His canvas for me to see and said "Look... I'm still here." And though I know there is much I can and should be doing better, it was a moment of affirmation. A reminder that I'm being obedient, and a nudge to keep being so. The designer of the Denver Art Museum, Daniel Libeskind said of the building "I hope the building has an openness that everyone can fill with their own imagination." I was reminded last night, in a frozen moment of clarity, that my life needs to have an openness, too. An openness to the mysteries of God. I hope my life has an openness that God can fill with His imagination. I pray yours does, too...

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