A Frozen Walk with an Affirming Father

I need affirmation. Maybe I'm not internally motivated enough, maybe my confidence is not what it should be, but I need to hear how I'm doing from someone else's perspective. I settle sometimes for other people's perceptions, but what I really need is the affirmation of my Father. You do, too. There is a question in all of us that begs to be answered with God's "Well done. Come enter into my rest."

Last night after all the students had gone home, all the lights were shut off and the doors were locked, I headed home feeling as good as I've felt for a long time. The question we covered in our series last night dealt with the mystery of the Trinity - how can God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit be three and be one? The simple truth is I don't know how, but the question brought me to wonder again. If we stop wondering about God, we may begin to think we know all we need to know about Him - and that's a dangerous place to be.

God knows us more intimately than we can fathom, and He wants us to know Him more deeply as well. He is not merely a far-off overlord watching from a distance - He became one of us! He is not just an amazing teacher or caring humanitarian that used to live in the Middle East - He is THE creative power living inside of us!

I went for a walk late last night after I got home. Just a short walk - it was well below zero (about 20 below Celsius for my Canadian friends). Being that cold, there weren't too many dogs out barking, only a few vehicles passing by, and the more sane of our local species tucked away in their warm homes. It was incredibly still - a moment of rest. If anyone noticed me out there, they may have only seen some dope out wandering around in the cold, but I saw more. Fascinated by the God who made the cold, dry snow crunch beneath every step, who made every star I could see and every one I couldn't, and who drew out the longest-burning meteorite I've ever seen... I saw God.

It was as if He spread out His canvas for me to see and said "Look... I'm still here." And though I know there is much I can and should be doing better, it was a moment of affirmation. A reminder that I'm being obedient, and a nudge to keep being so. The designer of the Denver Art Museum, Daniel Libeskind said of the building "I hope the building has an openness that everyone can fill with their own imagination." I was reminded last night, in a frozen moment of clarity, that my life needs to have an openness, too. An openness to the mysteries of God. I hope my life has an openness that God can fill with His imagination. I pray yours does, too...

When They Like What I Like

I like it when my children like the things that I like. Last night, I took Emily out to run with me. Lizzie and Siah decided they had to go too! I can remember flipping through channels Sunday afternoons before Dakota really talked much. If I happened to come across NASCAR, his grunts made it very plain that he wanted the channel to be parked for a few laps! He'd climb up and watch with me for hours. Now he does this with football, and I finally have him convinced that the Broncos are the good guys.

I like how all my kids have enjoyed playing soccer. It's exciting to watch them develop and learn what they can do. Dakota discovered the thrill of dribbling this year and loves to change directions sharply and watch the other kids scramble and fall all over themselves trying to keep up. Josiah didn't have a very fun season, but the last couple weeks he decided he liked it and was going to have fun - and he did! Emily's not a big fan of extended physical exertion, but she's had fun being part of the team and developing relationships with her teammates (and anyone else on the field who will talk to her). Lizzie can't wait to get on the field and play - and she may have all the tools a girl needs to rule the pitch (definitely has the attitude)!

I love how my kids are always dragging books around. When kids disappear at our house, we usually find them with their nose in a book of some kind. I know this makes us a couple geeks raising a bunch more geeks - and I'm ok with that. I enjoy seeing my kids getting enjoyment from so many of the things that I also enjoy. I don't want to push my kids to be just like me only better and vicariously live through their competitive endeavors to surpass my own failures. I don't want to be "that dad" - but I really do like it when my kids like what I like.

I think this is a reflection of how God feels about us. It brings Him immense joy to see His children caring about what He cares about. As a child of God, I want His passion for humanity to be reflected in my own life. I want to be able to love the way that He loves. I want to live the life that He's crafted me for - and this brings Him great joy. Want to please God? Find something He cares about; pour yourself into it; & live the life you were meant to live.

Did God Use up all His 'Stuff'?

I've been thinking about a question I read on twitter from Perry Noble last night: "WHAT IF this past 2,000 years of the church was merely the foundation to set up what God REALLY wants to do?" At first glance, this question got my imagination going. It reminds me that God is still at work. I RT'd the statement and some concerns have been raised... thought this would be a good time to unpack the question a little bit.

I don't think this question is meant to diminish the importance of what God has already done, but to make us realize the potential of the things to come. Sometimes we live as if God has used up all his "best stuff" already. Like he used up all his mojo on raising the dead and healing lepers and Pentecost...

But what if He didn't? What if He's still powerful enough to do things that we can't explain? What if He's still invading reality to do what He wants to do - whether it's "possible" or not? What might we be missing by living as if the "good part" is over and now we're just waiting for the finale? (The finale IS pretty awesome by the way!)

I wonder if this was, at least in part, the mentality of many Jews when Jesus invaded their reality? "Well, God did some awesome things back at Creation and causing that giant flood and parting the Sea to get our people out of Egypt and the Jordon to get them into Canaan... He was pretty awesome back in the day, but we haven't heard from Him for a few hundred years, so He must be resting now." I wonder if that mentality was part of what caused them to miss Jesus.

Moses even had this kind of thinking on at least one occasion. In Numbers 11, the people were grumbling about the manna. They'd had enough of the desert and were taking it out on Moses. God assured him that meat was coming - more meat than they could stand. Moses looked around at all the people and wondered aloud to God how on earth he was supposed to feed all these people meat.

"Would they have enough if flocks and herds were slaughtered for them? Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?"

The Lord answered Moses, "Is the Lord's arm too short?" Moses, don't you think I'm powerful enough to do what I said I will do?

So back to the question, then: "WHAT IF this past 2,000 years of the church was merely the foundation to set up what God REALLY wants to do?" Isn't the church of 2009 more than just a holding tank until God decides to be awesome again? Are we living our lives in a way that allows us to see God at work? Do we expect Him to be active in our world today?

When I started this blog several years ago, I chose the name 'theoquest' to call to mind the continual journey toward God that I want my life to be. I added the tagline "because God is still writing history". I don't think God's done yet - I don't think we're in some perpetual Day 7 where God is just resting. I don't think the church is a fixed entity, fully functional and completely mature.

Jesus said that He was building a church over which even the gates of hell wouldn't stand. As I look at the world today, mabye it's just the negativity of the news, but it's easier to see a whole lot more hell than heaven. Maybe what God really wants is to see His church bringing His Kingdom into the world instead of waiting for Him to end it.

Don't run away from me...

Lizzy is 2.  Very 2.  She has a stubbornness that I suppose we have to blame on genetics: it seems to be a dominant trait all the way around in our household!  Lately, she's testing the limits of her own free will and figuring out how that plays into relationships within the family...  "I CAN say no to Siah - I CANNOT say no to Daddy."

Yesterday, she had told me "NO" very emphatically when I told her to do something, then immediately realized her stubbornness had very deep roots - in me.  She knew she was in trouble before I said anything else, so she ran.  (Actually, this scenario played out a couple times yesterday.)

As she recovered from her *cough, cough* reprimand, I brought her face close to mine and said "Lizzie, when you know you're in trouble, don't run away from me."

Immediately, I wondered how often God has longed to pull me close and tell me to stop running...  How often do we hide from God as we struggle with trouble that only He is able to handle?  Burying ourselves in work or play or even relationships that let us distract ourselves from the Truth that is waiting for us... Let's stop repeating the folly of Adam and Eve, hiding in the garden, and run to our Father, who is more than able to correct us, heal us, and rebuild us for service in His Kingdom.

Leadership Frustration

Andy Stanley ends his book, Making Vision Stick, with this quote:
"If you are consumed with the tension between what is and what could be... if you find yourself emotionally involved... frustrated... brokenhearted... maybe even angry about the way things are... if you believe that God is behind your anguish... then chances are you are on the brink of something divine, something too important to abandon."

This was very timely for me to read yesterday, and the thought has been bouncing around my cardio-cranial edges all day. I am consumed with the tension he's speaking of... I am frustrated with what is and the comfortable satisfaction therein... I am brokenhearted for those who will never know what could be because my/our comfort has robbed them of us sharing the hope we have... I'm even angry at systems and complacency that keep thing the way they are...

The question then, is whether it is God behind my anguish, or only me? I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one so frustrated... and if so, then what?

I don't think I'm alone... so, now what?

An Echoing Trinity

About 5 years ago, in a fit of creative hopes, I bought myself a cheap beginner set of acrylics, wanting to learn to paint. I had no idea what to get my brothers for Christmas this year, so I decided to finally bust open the tubes and do a couple paintings for them. This is one of them, along with a poem I wrote to go with it: "An Echoing Trinity".

Intertwined, They dwell in hearts of men
and outside all space and time.
A mystery of three - can't quite understand
the nature of One so alive.
But whether or not I can comprehend
He's there in a perfect display
Of life and of mercy - a Spirit, a Son,
and a Father of consumate grace.

He spoke and stars leaped
all we know came to be,
out of His relationship -
everything.

So now, intertwined are my brothers and I
in a life that's not quite what we'd be.
But a life nonetheless He can handle I guess
an echoing Trinity.