Hypothetically Church

Let's play a little hypothetical Monday afternoon:

Imagine with me... a group of people, mostly in their mid to late 20's, living in the same apartment complex near the hospital where most of them work. There are a handful of single med students, several newlywed couples, a few widows & widowers, and even a couple families with young children (though, their apartments are getting a bit crowded so one of them may be moving out soon to a place with a yard where their kids can play).

It's not a huge complex, so they see each other often, and there seem to be several running conversations in the group that are always picked up and left off as they pass in the hall and hang out in the lobby. These people know each other really well. It's not uncommon at all to see one of the younger set helping out the older folks by carrying groceries or doing whatever else may be needed. The youngest kids talk excitedly about the grandmas and grandpas they have in the building, and if you had to guess, you'd probably think they really were family. And they are... just not in the way that has anything to do with genetics or legal agreements.

I go to church in their neighborhood, and have visited their building a couple times. When Bill got sick and had to retire from his work in the hospital's ER, they threw him one of the coolest retirement parties I've seen. It was amazing to see people whose lives Bill had saved or whose broken arms he'd set get together and talk about what a difference he'd made to each of them. He never stopped at just the basic care they'd expected. The apartment crew, as I've come to call them, also went way above and beyond to celebrate Bill's work over the years. The extra mile seems to be a pattern for all of them.

These people really seem to love each other, too. They don't just live in the same space, they genuinely and excessively care about the well being of each one in their community. Several times a week, all of them who can get there will share a meal together in the courtyard (or the lobby when it's cold), and no one ever eats alone.  I was surprised at one visit to hear them talking about some Bible passages they'd read lately, and how it motivated them to love even others outside their community the same way they loved each other. They've taken the word neighbor to a whole new level...

My neighborhood's not like that, so I pressed them once about what the difference was. They said the difference was that they'd each committed to loving Jesus, loving others, and doing the things Jesus said to do - which I thought was kind of odd because most of them hardly ever go to church. I asked why they don't go to church and they said they'd each chosen to work Sunday morning shifts so that other people could go if they wanted to. They did point out that they had been taking turns leading devotions in the lobby every morning before the kids had to be at school, and they'd built a prayer wall in one of the halls where they'd post stuff to pray about with each other. They showed me the board, full of notes from just about every one in the building.

As I visited yesterday, one note in particular really hit me. It was from Jake, one of the boys who may be moving soon. He only asked for two things:

• That they could find a house big enough for the whole family. By the picture he drew with the note, I could tell 'family' didn't just mean his brother and parents!
• That moving to a house didn't mean they'd have to stop helping at the homeless shelter the 'family' had started around the corner from their building.

Leaving the apartments, I noticed our church building just down the block. The parking lot was empty and I knew the doors would be locked, but I walked down anyway and sat down on the steps for a bit. I couldn't help but wondering about myself and all my friends that get together here every Sunday. We talk about Bible passages and sing songs telling God how awesome He is and how much we love Him. We pray together and some of us chat a little bit after services. But then we all go home and mostly don't see much of each other until next Sunday. I think we're trying to love Jesus in all of this, but the more time I spend with those people in the apartment building down the street, the more I wonder if we might be missing something.

Why is our group called 'church' but theirs is not?

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Just a quick, non-hypothetical point: This is not about the guy who claims to be worshiping God in nature because he'd rather go golfing on Sunday mornings. It's not about Justin Bieber saying he doesn't have to go to church because somebody else just religiously goes to church to go to church (more perspective on that here from Scot McKnight & Dan Kimball). It's about the essence of church. When you strip everything away that's superfluous in the church, what's still there? I know this apartment dwelling group is fictitious. But the question remains: should it be?

Being a Disciple Means Love

Hi guys. I'm leading worship here at WestWay this weekend and want a little help. The theme of Willie's message is that a disciple loves the church family. I'm looking for ideas to incorporate into the service: specifically stories of how you've loved or been loved by the church.

So in the comments section here, tell me your best stories of seeing the church's love on full display... of loving the church even when it was hard... of being loved by the church even when you were undeserving...

Thanks.

Help Wanted

Her face said enough. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know she needed help as she sat there in traffic with the hazard lights on and her head mostly buried in the steering wheel. She looked like she'd been there for a while... waiting.

I wondered what was wrong and if there was actually anything I could do to help. Did she hit something? Had she been told to stay put? There was a dent in the front fender, but no glass or parts or another vehicle or anything to suggest an accident. Must be something else...

As I pulled into a nearby parking lot and reached for my door handle, some doubts flashed across my mind. Mind your own business. Go home, this is your lunch break. You're going to feel pretty dumb when she says she doesn't need help. What if her problem is too big for you? You're going to look stupid...

Let's Speculate!

It was pretty cool to see Trevor Bayne win the Daytona 500 Sunday. He seems like a great guy - and I love seeing young people succeed like he did. He's only 20 years old and he just won the biggest race in NASCAR.

I heard an interview after the race where Bayne was asked what he was going to do with the money (almost $1.5 million). His gut level, first response? "Give it all away, man." You can call that short sighted and naive if you want, but it's awesome to see someone whose first response to money is to use it to help someone else. He went on to mention some missionary friends in Mexico, and I've seen several comments from other NASCAR guys online about him helping 'orphans and poor people' and stuff. I love that.

It doesn't take a million dollars to be known for helping people. All it takes is a mentality that values people more than things. All it takes is for me to recognize a need that is deeper and more important than my desire for another cheeseburger/nicer car/bigger house... and a willingness to use what I have for the benefit of another.

courtesy: leonardini via sxc.hu

But it is fun to speculate. I can't say for certain, but here are a few things that I think I'd make priorities:

• Pay off our house. - and pay someone to finish all the remodeling projects that keep stacking up.
• Pay off someone else's house... anonymously. That would just be awesome! Can you imagine getting a letter from your mortgage company telling you that you had no more house payments because "Jesus just took care of it." No further explanation... no strings attached... just PAID IN FULL.
• Help The Sparrow's Nest take flight. I love what this new ministry in St. Louis is doing. Maybe I could payoff their house, too!
• Buy a car that doesn't require duct tape (see yesterday's post). Maybe even a purple mini-van for my crazy wife! (I'm not letting her pay someone to paint our house purple, though!)
• Help resource a certain young church I know of in Laramie and a ministry in Arizona that are both breaking some exciting ground as they work to reveal the kingdom of hope.
• Get some new boots - my cleats are shot and it's almost time to get outside and kick some balls around!
• Buy the empty Wal-Mart building in town and turn it into a sweet youth center. Indoor soccer field, climbing wall, and all kinds of teenage awesomeness... I'm probably going to need your million dollar winnings, too for this one... let's get on that.

So - if you suddenly found yourself with a million dollars, what do you think you'd do?

3:18

Love Is In Action!

Since today's the day of love... I just thought it was a good time to post a link to my friends Tory & Kara of 3:18 Ministries.

The Satters are a family that live out 1 John 3:18 as well as anyone I know. Just in case you're not familiar with that verse, it's the one where John told early Christians (and us) to not just keep saying we love each other, but to actually do something that shows it.

John didn't have pajama-grams and roses in mind (though, who doesn't like a good set of footy-PJs?). 3:18 Ministries is all about putting love into action in the San Carlos/Globe area of AZ. Check out the link to 3:18 and see what God's been doing. Pray for the Satters today as they bring hope where there is little of it. (And maybe send them a box of chocolates, too!)

A Banquet Surprise

I was looking forward to getting to speak at a Valentine banquet back in Casper this weekend. So Saturday night, we headed downtown to this little spot the church had booked and settled in for a good time. I noticed, as we sat there stacking conversation hearts, that a crowd was starting to gather just inside the front door. "Surely, the restaurant's not open for regular dining." I thought.

I was right... sort of. As more people filled the entry, and servers and hostesses began to look more and more flustered, it became obvious that something wasn't quite right. As it turns out, the venue had double booked. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but there was a whole group of people waiting to party while we waited for prime rib.

It made for what has to be the most awkward speaking engagement I've ever had. To be totally honest, it was almost surreal, and I'm not sure I made any sense at all. Any semblance of order to my message was overshadowed with so many other thoughts racing through my head. I've never been the 'bull-horn to the face' kind of guy - I missed the "Preaching to the Open Bar" class at Bible College, so the whole time I was speaking (about how our love is revealed by our action not mere words) I just kept thinking "The whole back room is waiting for you to shut up and leave."

Now, to be fair, the gathering crowd did nothing to make me feel that way. They quietly milled from the small back room into which they'd been stuffed to the bar to order drinks and back. A few sat and quietly chatted at the bar. But the noise level wasn't any worse than a typical Wed. night with my students. It was just the awkwardness of the situation that made things so weird. I felt stuck between a group of church banqueters looking for some spark of inspiration or encouragement and a group of party-goers just wanting to relax and have a good time.

As I think of it now, I should have just invited them all out and did 20 minutes of stand up or something... I'm not sure I could have pulled that off, and I know that's not really what I was invited for, but I wish I would have thought of that in the moment. I wonder if the message would've been communicated more effectively that way anyway...

The  more I think about this, the more I'm feeling like I really missed an opportunity to build some bridges and help make some connections. Excuse me, while I go kick myself...
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Just for the record, I'm grateful for the invitation to come and speak to a great group of gracious friends. I pray the thoughts racing through my head didn't cloud the message too much. We are loved so much by our Creator, who adopts us into His own family. We are called to extend that love in every way we can think of, not just with words but with action. Caring for orphans, widows, neighbors... Check out my friends at 3:18 Ministries or Sparrow's Nest for some great examples of how it can be done - and find a way to put your love into action.

The Landing After I Leaped Before I Looked

First a little disclaimer: Do not read into this post anything that I did not explicitly write. Don't jump to conclusions and try to assign blame. The adventure began like this and it's about to end with a fully shingled roof and some valuable lessons. That's a good trip. It's been discouraging and frustrating at times, but satisfying and even a little fun at others. The whole experience has highlighted some problems to me during the last month. I write this to propose some solutions, not to place blame or lay on the guilt.

I write this with tongue in cheek (and possibly foot in mouth), so please take it lightly. I harbor no ill will toward anyone who couldn't help, and only a little toward whoever made me think this was a good idea in the first place (just kidding, that was me).
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I have a lot of friends on facebook... but I don't have a lot of friends on my roof.

This has been frustrating for me lately. I've needed help. Roofing's one of those jobs that's kind of tough to tackle on your own.

Black Friday for me was tar paper black. My birthday was Saturday and a lot of people stopped by my wall to wish me a good day. I would have felt pretty good about that except for one thing - Zero of them stopped by my roof to help me finish the shingling. This was my first weekend at home since August and I got to spend it roofing. My 11 year old daughter and 8 & 7 year old sons have learned where shingles need to be and when. My mom lugged tarps full of shingle scraps to the roll off dumpster for her Thanksgiving vacation and my dad spent 2 days up there with me stripping off the old and laying down the new. They may still be in recovery. They may never come to visit again! My wife has made lots of trips out of the house to bring me stuff I forgot to take up with me. A couple of my 16 year old students have helped out a lot (except when both of them could come and distract each other). A few of my friends have spent several hours helping out, but most just couldn't make it.

Now, before this starts sounding as bitter as Marshall's coffee (hopefully, not too late) I need to say that I don't think this is an indictment of my friends. I sort of want to feel sorry for myself and be mad at them, but I'm not. I sort of want to moan about how my hour of need found me alone, but I know I'm not alone. I sort of want to be hurt by serving in a church full of people who watched the Huskers and Broncos, and "decked their halls", and took family holiday pictures, and played around for the long weekend while I sent nail after nail into tar and asphalt and wood... but the truth is, I'd have much rather been doing those things, too. Roofing's not nearly as fun as those things, or others... like pulling out your fingernails, or eating fried wombat hair.

I've identified a few possible reasons I've had less help than hoped for:
1. Maybe I suck at asking for help. Apparently, "I've never done this before and I'd love it if you could come help me put shingles on my house." doesn't mean what I thought it means. I've never thought of myself as someone who appeared to have everything under control, but maybe I do because if my friends knew the true level of need, I can't believe they wouldn't have helped. I know this because we've helped others together in similar endeavors. I think I need to communicate my need more accurately. But I don't want to use guilt to motivate, so I always leave an open door for people to say no. Maybe that open door makes my friends think I don't really need their help.
2. Maybe we live with no margins. We are a busy people. I mentioned earlier that this was the first weekend I'd been able to spend at home since August. Soccer, funerals, weddings, work trips, anniversary celebrations, family emergencies... all of these things keep us running from one thing to the next with no buffer zones... no empty spaces to simply be, and to breathe, and to be available. I wonder if we're just too busy.
3. Maybe we're just afraid to try. I realize that most of my friends are not roofing experts, or maybe even all that savvy regarding nails and hammers and construction type stuff. Neither am I (which is why I say construction type stuff, I don't know what most of it's really called). Once, when I was a kid, I hauled a few shingles onto a roof my dad was shingling for some lady that needed help, but that's the extent of my roofing experience. I'm not a handy guy. I usually can only fix the things that I've broken and seen exactly how I broke it. It's a whole different ball game to deconstruct a time honored method of getting the wet off the top of a house, and then to actually successfully do the work necessary to secure the shingles where they need to be. But guess what? I learned. Why do we let what we don't know stop us from trying?

So here's what I propose, friends:
-Let's stop mitigating our speech and say what we really mean.
-Let's stop filling every moment with something and create some margin in our lives (not just for our friends, but especially for our Father).
-Let's never let what we don't know scare us away from trying.

Writing Better Stories

I'm stealing some statements from my friend Tory's blog. These are statements from a training video he's used in working on the San Carlos Apache Reservation.  Tory is working through an organization called 3:18 Ministries to bring hope where there is little hope.  These statements are the statements of a generation without hope. This is how so many of the young people in San Carlos view life:

  1. There is no future.

  2. I think I can't.

Why I Love Compassion

We Teach Children How to Dream (check out this post on Compassion's blog)

Poverty isn't just a lack of resources... it's a lack of hope. I love how this article looks into a few examples of what Compassion is doing to bring hope to the hopeless. LuAnn and I have sponsored kids through Compassion almost from the very beginning of our marriage, and this is why. I know there are a lot of other child sponsorship organizations that do a lot of good things, but we've never been disappointed in our first choice. Look into it.

Help a Child

Fatherless Generation

One of the toughest issues I've dealt with in my years in youth ministry is the absence of fathers for so many of my students. I grew up with my mom and dad and big hairy case of being sheltered, so I remember being pretty floored within my first few months on staff at a great small town church, when I was confronted with the fact that so many of the students I was working with didn't know their dads. Unfortunately, what was foreign to me then has become a theme today. The particular struggles that are associated with growing up without Dad around have become all too familiar.

When I heard about The Mentoring Project several months ago, I was immediately excited about what they're doing.

3:18 Ministries

"...let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." 

These words, taken from 1 John 3:18 lie at the heart of a new ministry to the Apache people of San Carlos called 3:18 Ministries. The ministry has been born out of a desire to see new life rise on the reservation as people don't just hear about God's love, but truly experience it. My good friend Tory, has started a blog to keep us posted on what's going on with 3:18 as work groups come and as the full cast of the 3:18 team comes together.

As a board member, I'd really appreciate your prayers for this venture.  Pray especially for the Satters, as they pilot our way forward in this and pray for God to bring the right people to the right places within the organization.

Check out the 3:18 blog, be praying for God's love to be tangible to the San Carlos Apache, and think about what you can do to make it that way...

Active Water

Zambia from Daren Wendell on Vimeo.

My students and I were introduced to a great organization this summer at CIY Move. It's called activewater and they are currently working to make clean water more accessible in Zambia. Dirty water causes or facilitates many diseases - many people die from sicknesses that may not be a big deal here because we have sanitary knowledge and water. Activewater is working to dig wells and install water purification systems that are helping give life to areas that have been afflicted with water born diseases, as well as educating the people about sanitation and hygiene.

We're going to be doing some fund raising for Activewater this fall. We'll be hosting a benefit concert in September.  100% of the ticket price will go to activewater. (Incidentally, if you work in an organization that would be interested in helping us sponsor the event, let me know.)

VOTA will be the main feature, with Delusions of Pluto opening. The show will be awesome, but the life that will be shared because we care will be incredible!

Holy Mothers Day, Church!

For about the last year, I've been following NewSpring Church's services online. There is a lot that I like, and I've been pretty strongly challenged through their ministry. I started this week's service at my desk this afternoon, hoping to work on a couple other things while I watched - but I quickly realized that I wasn't going to be getting a whole lot done. I think they've got a great answer to the question "What if we loved like Jesus loved @ church?" I know they're a "big church" with lots of resources that we don't have, but the Holy Spirit is the same in South Carolina as he is everywhere else. How will we answer that question in our communities?

(If you want to jump to the message, it begins about the 14th minute.)