Overhauling the American Family? Replace the American Dream.

In The Problem No One Wants to Talk About, Paul Williams (an editor at Christian Standard) connects some educational dots that need to be faced. The short version: the education of a child is ultimately up to the parents. You should read the full article, too, especially if you have school age children. We can blame bad schools and administrators and standards all we want, but the bottom line is that it is up to me and my wife to educate our own children. We've considered ourselves fortunate, even since Emily's first day in Mrs. Riggins' Kindergarten, to have our kids in public classrooms with good teachers who really cared AND were well equipped to teach their students. I know not everyone would share that sentiment, but we're glad to have had most of the teachers we've had and even keep in touch with a number of them.

Williams talks about how one of his wife's "greatest frustrations was parents who did not even bother to attend the school's open house or parent-teacher conferences. Even those who valued education were so busy trying to stay alive they were happy to leave Johnny's ABC's up to the school." In the end, he says, "It is not the American education system that needs an overhaul. It is the American family."

Parents may be too busy to show their kids which way to turn.

Ouch.

Families are definitely being stretched dangerously thin today, but before we throw parents under the bus, notice something tucked away in that statement: Parents are "so busy trying to stay alive" they've abdicated their responsibility. Just to be clear, most American parents are not busy dodging bullets or hiding in foxholes. Most American parents don't fill their waking hours clinging to literal last ditch efforts to keep breathing and pumping blood. So what are they busy doing that Williams refers to?

I'd argue that what we fill our time with is not so much "staying alive" as it is "getting ahead." The elusive American Dream was perhaps a noble ideal in previous decades, but the modern version of it is nothing like the simple original. It's not just the American family that needs overhauled, but the American value system that says "What I have is never enough. I must have more - even if that means burying my family under a truckload of Visa bills."

I read an article this morning about elected officials who were having a tough time making ends meet... just barely scraping by... struggling to keep their children well clothed and properly fed... "living paycheck to paycheck"... on $174,000 a year!

But this isn't about politics (I say as I choke on that last statement). It's about you and I and contentment. Are we sacrificing our children for a newer car in the driveway? Are we leaving our children to fend for themselves so they can sleep in a bigger house?

I have to admit I struggle with this. I never go to bed hungry, but I struggle with wanting more - wishing I made more money and could afford better stuff. Wishing I could go visit more exciting places and eat better food. But my kids don't need me to get a second job so they can ride in a truck with power steering as much as they need... me. They need me to coach their teams and be at their games. They need me to show them where the boundaries are in life and how to tell which ones are good boundaries and which ones were put there by some goober and need to be moved. They need me to help them know what it means to be a man, what it means to follow Jesus, and two of them need me to explain to them once and for all that men will never really understand them. (The other two need me to explain how to have fun trying!) I'd go full circle and say they need my help with homework, but... not so much. Not yet anyway.

How do you balance the desire to provide for your family with the demands that places on your time? Are you educating your children well, or have you left that up to "the professionals"? What could we do to help you "train up your child in the way he should go"?

Image via Agatha Villa at CreationSwap

Guest Post: Young Thoughts About School (or Something)

Last night, Emily walked through the room while we were watching Waiting For Superman and it caught her attention enough that she stopped and watched. She just asked me to set her up a blog, so I'm going to compromise a little bit and let her do a post here about what she thinks of the movie and school in general:
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 My dad left the room so now I'm going to write what I want.  On Sunday night I went to a concert by Cloverton and Delusions of Pluto.  It was so cool!  My friend, Brielle, and I sat on the steps by the stage, right next to the speakers!  It was so loud!  We had a blast!

Oh-no!  Dad is back!  Ahh!  Bye!

 Emily

P.S I did like the movie.  You should watch it.  But don't tell my dad.

Are You Waiting For Superman?

Last night, LuAnn and I watched Waiting for Superman. Actually, Emily and Dakota watched most of it as well, even though it's not really a kids' show - they caught a few minutes and were hooked. It's an interesting look at the American education system - what's broken and some of what's working. Statistically speaking, we're falling behind, and the film takes a look at why that may be and what can be done to improve. There are some great examples of schools that are doing better - and some sad stories of the heartbreak for those who can't get in to them.

As I watched, I just kept thinking of how fortunate I have been. My kids have had some great teachers in the past few years. And that's really what it boils down to in Waiting for Superman; we cannot have great schools without great teachers. But our educational system doesn't do enough to foster great teaching... and often sticks rigidly to practices and procedures that inhibit them, instead. In most careers, if you do a good job, that merits a raise, a bonus... some type of recognition. Not so much in teaching. In most careers, if you don't do a good job, you don't keep your job. Again, due largely to the influence of the two major teachers' unions... not so much.

I am thankful for my kids' teachers, and the school systems that have given them enough space to teach well. I'm thankful for my own teachers through the years and the extreme efforts they gave to educate me and my peers. I think of Mrs. Washenfelder. I was a straight A student - but I was skating, and she knew it. She pushed me to do my best, not just settle for better than the next kid. I think of Mr. Staffileno who had a way of pushing into some of the less interested students and engaging us all - no one slept in our Algebra class! I think of Dr. Brown & Dr. McCoy who forced me to dig into ancient texts like I'd never done, and of Mr. Cravatt who drew our youth ministry classes deep into discussions that still echo in much of what I do every day.

I also think of the teacher who refused to give me anything to do. Nearly every Spring afternoon of second grade was spent staring at the back of the kid in front of me - done with my work and not allowed to even read an extra book or two I'd snuck in from home. I think of a Geometry teacher who didn't even care enough to brush his teeth or make eye contact with us - and still doesn't seem to 20 years later. I think of a teacher whose idea of American History consisted of little more than whatever video was easiest to pull of the shelf of the school library.

But this is not some vendetta against what I, or the filmmaker, perceived as a bad teacher. I hope Waiting for Superman will open up more dialogue about how education in our nation can be improved for everyone involved. Check out the website, watch the film, and do something to recognize and help a great teacher you know.