Potential, Locked Up

I shouldn't have been able to see him in the middle of the morning like that. He should have been in some class at one high school or another. But he wasn't in class. Instead, as I was buzzed through a series of solid steel doors, he was finishing an English test for his GED courses. Courses he's taking because kids in jail don't go to regular school. But he wants to finish.

As we talked, he asked about a Psalm he'd been reading and what it all meant and I babbled on about Old Testament history and fitting things into the right place in that history to understand better, and how David, the guy that wrote the particular Psalm he was asking about, had messed up really bad, but still was dubbed "a man after God's own heart"... And that was what he was looking for. He needed to know that there is grace enough that he could be forgiven.

I kept thinking about all the potential that is locked up in what we call a Juvenile Detention Center. What will become of these kids? Many of the kids I saw today will spend a lot of their lives in facilities like this. For some it already seems to be a pattern. As I was leaving, a boy who was probably about 13 or 14 seemed to be getting processed in. When I was 13, this would have been pretty traumatic for me - 4 or 5 corrections officers standing by, watching as the restraints were removed and pockets searched as I was ushered in to change into a prison uniform... I would have been wetting my pants! This kid, however young he was, already knew the routine. This was normal for him.

But back to the young man I'd met with... He wants a new normal. He doesn't want this to be the pattern for his life. And he's learning to lean on grace to make that possible. He's hoping to enter a treatment facility soon. 3 weeks clean has been a good start, but he knows he's only just starting a journey that won't be easy. (Please be praying...) Grace can unlock his potential to live a better story.

Which makes me wonder...

What potential have I locked up within myself because I haven't dared to let grace work there? What about you? What fear or bitterness or shame do we harbor, keeping us from becoming what God dreams we could be?

Gracenomics & Creativity in Youth Ministry

One of the last books I read this year was Gracenomics from Mike Foster. In a chapter about putting grace into practice at work, he describes a scenario:

"The boss pretends the company never fails. Never has, never will.

The employees know this is a bunch of bull. Always has been, always will be.

But because they know their boss is fixated with erasing all evidence of the company's failures, the employees trade in the goal of advancing the company for the boss' real goal: covering up mistakes - along with anything that might've been learned from them.

Creativity is choked out.

Innovators are handcuffed.

Dreams die."

Grace allows creativity and dreams to flourish because grace makes room for failure. I know that he was talking about the workplace with this picture, but I can't help but forward this dynamic into the church (maybe because that's my workplace). In a group of people who are admittedly depending on God's grace, what if we're so intent on covering up mistakes (or maybe we just ignore them and hope they'll go away) that we don't really let anyone learn and grow from them, that we don't learn to give grace ourselves?

I believe the result is the same: creativity is choked out, innovators are handcuffed, and dreams die. Only, in the church, instead of continuing to punch the clock and collect a check, a lot of creativity will look elsewhere for an outlet and the less patient of the innovators will walk away long before the dreams die.

Through youth ministry, I have been given the chance to shape both the church that is now and the church that will be. I want to make sure I'm giving students and other leaders the freedom to fail. I'm not sure I've always done that well, and I can't help but wonder what dreams and creative ideas have been stifled by my bottling up of the grace that's been given to me...

What were the latest mistakes you or your church has addressed with grace? What did you learn?

10ST - Discipline over Reconciliation

10ST is an ongoing series digging into Geoff Surratt's Ten Stupid Things that Keep Churches from Growing and how those stupid things keep youth ministries from growing as well.

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This chapter may have been one of the most obviously relevant chapters to youth ministry. How do we respond when discipline is necessary in our ministries? It's often tempting to give in to the knee jerk & tell them they can't come anymore. It would often make our lives easier to do exactly that.

I once had a couple guys start coming to youth group who had a reputation for being in trouble a lot. I thought it was awesome that these guys wanted to be there at all, and prayed they'd quickly find a deeper connection with God. But, the parents of some of the other kids in the group didn't want them around. Actually, they threatened to stop bringing their kids if I allowed these two guys to keep coming. There was a real fear that I was allowing the bad influences into our group.

Galatian Deception

Last year, I started reading through my Bible with a highlighter, which was kind of a big deal for me because I'm weird and have an issue with writing in books. (My therapist says I may be growing out of it, but all his textbooks are those MadLibs, fill-in-the-blank things, so I'm not too sure.) I've just been highlighting phrases or sections that seem to stand out to me, or that seem to have a little extra significance to share right here and now.

As I was reading through Galatians yesterday, I was surprised at how much I was highlighting! It's like the yellow pages of my Bible now, without the phone numbers and a restaurant section. But more than the amount of highlighting I did, I was reminded of the scope of that letter. Paul needed to remind the church of just what made them the church anyway:

Processing Last Week at CIY Move...

My apologies to those of you who checked in here last week expecting updates from our high school trip to CIY Move. The Ft. Lewis network decided my laptop was unworthy of inclusion, and thus unyieldingly shunned me from access. Beginning with this post, I'll go through some of the highlights of the week. (I wrote this post Monday night, anticipating a resolution to my network issues that never came.)
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After several hundred miles on the road, we made it to Durango in time to check in, unload, eat supper, and have a great time of worship in the first main session here at CIY Move.  It’s been a pretty entertaining mix of personalities so far in the van… some of these students seem to want to argue with each other NO MATTER WHAT (I’ve heard them completely change their ‘side’ in order to continue an argument!).  The friction can get a little annoying once in a while, but I really think God’s using the sparks to start some pretty exciting fires… can’t wait to see His plans for these guys come to be.

The ride down was fairly uneventful – no lost lunches or cookie tossing in the van, no accidents, & all foul odors were kept to a minimum (usually). After stopping for lunch, however, I returned to the van to find a huge dent in the front fender… some kid in skinny jeans decided to play Chuck Norris. Subsequently, he was induced to purchase a large suction cup to pull out the dent! It’s really not as big a deal as it may seem; it just sounds more dramatic and less like tattling than saying, “Shane kicked a dent in the fender.”

The session tonight dealt with the concept of grace. It changes our story. Grace changes everything. I couldn’t help but think of a particular student I’ve been praying for who needs so desperately to understand that. She’s had some pretty crappy circumstances over the last couple years, and has made some decisions that have compounded her difficulty. I wish she could have been here with us to hear the message, but more than that, I pray she’ll see Jesus revealed to her where she is.

Excited to see God continue to move this week…

...And there is Grace

I don't want to leave this recent discussion about adolescents having sex without touching another concept: grace. Sometimes we act like having sex before marriage is unforgivable - like once a kid's had sex, they're just utterly hopeless and doomed to a life of decadence and brokenness. This mentality can quickly become a powerful vortex, sucking away the will to work toward anything better. "They all think I'm a slut now anyway, so I might as well..."

But the truth is that many people have had sex before marriage and gone on to live productive, healthy lives (not scar free, however). They often paid a heavy price and would undo what they did if they could, but they've survived because of grace. Both the grace offered to them by God, and that of friends and family who came together to support them as they sought to do better.

It's definitely better for teens to not have sex, but sometimes I'm afraid we do little to help the situation with our scarlet letters and pointing fingers. If you're a teen who's had sex and realized it was a mistake, even though you can't undo it; you don't have to wallow in it and keep making the same mistake. You can move on and live differently. If you know a teen who's having sex, find out why. What is it that they're seeking to find in sex? Then show them a better way. Help them find the real fulfillment they're looking for. (Yes, I'm making an assumption there - that they are in it for more than cheap thrills.) Help them find hope for the authentic fullness in life that they won't find in sex.
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Like I said in the last post, this is all coming from my limited point of view. I did have sex as a teen for about a year and a half, but only after I married at 18. The pressures we faced may be very different from the ones students face today. I may be way off base and value your input. How can we help students pick up the pieces?